That the Lost May Be Found

Kerry Hardy just had sinus surgery, and she's still recuperating, but, like the trooper she is, she taught our Relief Society lesson today--and did a fantastic job. The lesson was taken from the April 2012 General Conference address, "That the Lost May Be Found," by Elder M. Russell Ballard.

CLICK HERE to see Kerry's amazing class handout. Please note that she designed the second page so that if you like the quotes, you can cut them out and make them into nifty magnets to display on your refrigerator. (Or if your refrigerator is the psuedo-metal stainless steel that won't hold magnets and thereby deprives you of all the cuteness and wisdom you once had before you got your new fridge, you can put them on the back door that goes out to your garage or on the side of your filing cabinet--or use them as bookmarks.)

Kerry started out by telling about her road trip across the country with her daughter. They had a GPS on a iPhone and everything was going great--until they lost reception and found themselves lost in the Black Hills! Kerry felt so disconnected. She related that to her life generally; she never wants to "lose reception" and be cut off from the Holy Ghost, which is like a life GPS.

Individuals or whole societies can become lost.

Elder Ballard's talk includes some startling statistics about declines in society. Fortunately, the gospel provides direction for us. The gospel especially teaches us values that can help our families. Elder Ballard said, "The most important cause of our lifetime is our families. If we will devote ourselves to this cause, we will improve every other aspect of our lives and will become, as a people and as a church, an example and a beacon for all peoples of the earth." Elder Ballard pointed out some positive statistics that were discovered by social scientists among faithful members of the church--statistics that demonstrate how living the gospel helps us buck the negative trends of the world.

Elder Ballard listed four ways in which we can trust in the power of God to guide us and prevent ourselves from getting lost:

1. Prioritize. - Keep families at the top of your list.
2. Do things in the right order. - Marriage first, then kids.
3. Be equal partners in your marriage. - Follow the family proclamation.
4. Use the family resources of the church. - Parents (not church leaders) are ultimately responsible for raising our children, but we should use resources like the scriptures, the Church magazines, and lds.org to help us.

As we prioritize, we need to make sure that things we do outside our homes strengthen and support our families. Kerry challenged us to think about one thing that we can do better as we prioritize in our lives and then really focus on improving in that area.

In today's world, it's increasingly seen as OK to have children first and get married later (or not at all). Unfortunately, this is a trend also seen within the church. President Joseph F. Smith said that young men who choose not to marry fail the women who would gladly accept family responsibilities. Elder Ballard reminded single women that no career can bring you as much fulfillment as rearing a family. Learning responsibility, and especially being willing to accept family responsibilities, is an important part of doing things in the right order. We had a lively classroom discussion about things we've observed and how we could do better in this area.

• Lacey said she got married right after her husband's mission because they felt it was the right thing to do.
• Amanda said too many single men think that marriage is the end of fun or that there's just not enough money to get married. She got married a little older and gave up a great career for her family and has never been poorer--but it's still a good life.
• Naomi said her son had trouble finding a young lady with his values who wanted to get married.
• Kathy reminded us of President Kimball's admonition to young men who were age 29 and not married. She also said young women should "close your kitchens," so it's not so cushy for men to remain single.
• Shelly said boys don't date; they just "hang out." She reminds her son to ask his girlfriend out on real dates.
• Marilyn said too many are victims of today's "twentysomething culture."
• Amanda said Utah culture fosters fear of dating no-no's. Singles are so afraid of moral pitfalls that they avoid dating. We need to promote that dating can be fun (and remember repentance for those who fall short).
• Kathy said we need to safeguard our sons from pornography and other moral hazards that would make them less appealing companions.
• Lynne said the art of conversation is deteriorating. We need to put down the phones, step away from the keyboards, and talk to each other.
• Sue said we shouldn't do too much for our sons. Don't make them too comfortable. It's good for them to learn to do things for themselves and to know that they're expected to grow up and support themselves.
• Janice said she taught her kids to do their own laundry.

("Lively discussion" is my code for "hope I got all that.") 

Kerry told about how her daughter (Utah girl from birth) is now at Boston University studying film and has had some struggles adjusting to the culture there. There are so many "dark" influences, but she is learning that she can be a light. (Channel your inner Utah 5th grader and cue that "Hope of America" song here.)

Sherri Dew shared 5 principles of influence of LDS women:

• We all have more influence than we think.
• Righteous influence is actually a spiritual gift.
• Having influence is not abut elevating self, but about lifting others.
• It isn't possible to not have influence.
• Women of God have no limit and no end.

President Kimball said that much of the growth in the latter-day church will be because LDS women are distinct in happy ways. Robin, who recently moved here from Virginia, commented that Ann Romney's warm personality has been an example to non-LDS people there and has drawn positive attention.

Kerry encouraged us to look in the mirror and ask ourselves important questions, such as "Am I the woman God needs me to be?" and "Am I willing to walk away from the world and come unto Christ?" 

As you seek to live the gospel and doctrine of Christ, the Holy Ghost will guide you and your family.

Temporal Salvation for Ourselves and Others

Jana Harris taught today's lesson. It was #20 from the George Albert Smith manual, "Temporal Salvation for Ourselves and Others."

Jana prefaced her lesson by reminding us that it's OK to be financially successful. Heavenly Father has promised us blessings if we are faithful and work hard--and some of those blessing may be temporal wealth. But if we are blessed that way, we have an obligation to be generous toward others.

Shortly after World War II ended, the Church was able to provide necessities for many who had been stricken by the war. President Smith said to the members, "There never has been a time, in my judgment, when kindness was more needed than now. These are the days when people's souls are being tried, and when their hearts are being wrung. ... I believe our Heavenly Father is giving us our opportunity for development. ... We will discover now whether the love the Savior said should be in our hearts is among us."

This counsel is applicable to us today. "Let us... look around us in our neighborhood--not leave it to the Bishop and the Relief Society, but let each of us be ministers of loving kindness to those who will need us so much." (p. 220) We can share our financial means if that's what needed, but sometimes what's needed is a kind word, a meal, or a phone call.

If your charity makes someone feel inferior, you're doing it wrong. President Smith reminded us that we are stewards of the things that we have; they are all gifts from a loving Heavenly Father. The way we give makes a difference. Jana shared two examples from the time when she had cancer and was undergoing chemotherapy on Tuesdays. Wednesdays were her worst days, so the Relief Society had sisters bringing meals on Wednesdays. One week a lady whom Jana felt didn't like her very much showed up with dinner. She wasn't very friendly or gracious about how she shared it; Jana said it was the worst meal anyone brought--not because the food was bad, but because she just didn't feel good about how it was given. In contrast, she had a friend who showed up to do her laundry one day when she was truly ill in bed. She was mortified because she didn't want someone washing her underwear and seeing if maybe her whites weren't as white as they should be, etc. But the friend was totally nonjudgmental and kind--and her service was so useful and ended up feeling like a real blessing.

Neither the rich nor the poor should set their hearts upon riches.
Jana referred to two problems people may have as greed and hoarding. If you have a lot but you don't want to share, that's hoarding. If you don't have a lot but you're fixated on getting more, that's greed. Sometimes we focus on the rich who don't want to give, but the sin of poor people who think other people always have an obligation to care for them is no better. See D&C 56:17. It's OK to accept a hand up if you fall on hard times, but it's not OK to think that your welfare is someone else's duty.

If we are wise with our resources, we can often find a way to be self-supporting. It is a worthy goal to think of how we can prepare to be more often on the giving end than the receiving end. we should live within our income and not become a slave to the fashions of the world. President Smith warned that if we spend all our "extra" money on unnecessary things, when hard times come we may not be able to make ends meet. (p. 214)

We should work to earn our living. Often when a society is well off, the youth think money comes easily and work isn't necessary or desirable. (Amazing how these words from President Smith seem even more applicable today than when he said them.)

How can we teach our children to work?

• Karen worries about her son not being a hard worker, but he spent fall break on a ranch with a friend. He worked really hard; the friend's parents were impressed with him. So he has been learning to work, even if he doesn't show it at home.
• Melinda said her children all take music lessons and must practice every day.
• Alison said they talk about priorities--work has to be done before playtime starts.
• Angie stopped buying everything for her kids; she makes them earn things, and they appreciate it so much more.
• Valorie said they bought clunker cars for their kids, but the kids had to work to earn gas money before they could drive anywhere.
• Sue had her children start doing their own laundry when they were 12. For extra activities or items or brand names, the kids had to chip in their own money for part of the purchases.
• Leslie said there was a General Conference talk that referred to children and money. Her own children need to put half their earnings toward tithing and savings, and they can spend the other half.

It's a privilege to pay tithes and offerings.

Julie said that when she and her husband were in college and both unemployed, they had some very tight financial times. At that time, her husband committed to increase his fast offerings whenever he got a raise, a practice he's continued to this day. The Lord is generous with us; we can also be generous with others.

Tithing is an investment with an eternal dividend. We get more blessings from having 9/10 of our money after paying tithing than we would if we kept 100%.

* * *

Start today wherever you are, and remember: if we follow the Lord's counsel, we are better able to meet our own temporal needs and help those in need around us.

Stake Youth Trek 2013 - Meeting

There will be a trek information meeting on Sunday, October 28, at the stake center.

• All youth who will be 12-18 on September 1, 2013
• One parent for each of the youth (must limit numbers because of space)
• Four youth leaders per ward

Please arrive by 6:40 p.m. There will be a lot of people, and stake leaders would like to have everyone seated and quiet so they can begin promptly at 7:00. At this meeting, stake leaders will discuss details about next summer's trek to Martin's Cove, July 17-20.

Temporal and Spiritual Blessings from the Word of Wisdom

Today Melissa Sprague taught our Relief Society lesson. We are happy to have Melissa with us in Relief Society, since she has been teaching in Primary for a long time. The lesson was #19 from the George Albert Smith manual, "Temporal and Spiritual Blessing from the Word of Wisdom."

Melissa began by sharing a story from President George Albert Smith's childhood. As a child, he was afflicted with typhoid fever. The doctor advised three weeks of rest--and coffee. Young George said he didn't want any coffee and asked for a priesthood blessing instead. His obedience to the Word of Wisdom, combined with his simple faith, seemed to the the quick path to wellness. The next day when the doctor came to check up on him, he had recovered and was out playing with the other children.

The story of Daniel from the Old Testament also demonstrates both physical and inspirational blessings that come from obeying the Lord's laws of health. Daniel and his friends refused the king's food and were given 10 days to eat "pulse" (plant-based food) instead. After 10 days, they were healthier than the other young men who were in training to serve King Nebuchadnezzar, and they were permitted to continue their preferred way of eating. (Daniel 1:3-16)

Have there been times when you felt pressure to obey or break the Word of Wisdom?

• Valorie said there were only five LDS students in her high school. She went to parties with the other students, but she never drank alcohol. People knew that doing so was against her standards. Once she was drinking some 7-Up, and someone came and saw it and demanded to know what she was drinking. People expected her to live up to her standards.
• Lacey said she is from a small town, and people there just expected LDS kids to be good. Even when they tried to be "bad," people would stop them. Terri said it was similar in Alaska. People knew the LDS kids didn't drink alcohol or smoke, and they also expected the LDS young women to dress modestly.
• Nancy said that in her family the adults enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. When Nancy joined the church, she told her family that she'd given up wine. It took them a while to get used to the idea, but eventually they accepted it.
• Trena said her brothers put some beer in her fridge when they were helping her mother move. Trena found it and threw it out. She told them she couldn't have it in her house. Years later, she was at her brother's house and he warned her that he had beer in his refrigerator. He wanted her to know he hadn't put it there for her. He remembered her stand.
• Jessica said her father-in-law is from eastern Europe. For a while, he lived with her family. He enjoyed a strong coffee for breakfast and a beer at New Year's. These habits alarmed Jessica's children. They asked if their grandfather was a bad person. Jessica took the opportunity to teach them that their grandfather had different standards and that her family is happiest when they choose not to drink coffee and beer.
• Amara said that sometimes it's hard to eat well at social gatherings. People often expect her to eat junk food, which just isn't her thing. But as she is non-judgmental of others and does things in the way she feels best about, people have adjusted and she usually feels accepted.

The Word of Wisdom doesn't just address things we shouldn't do, it also gives us guidance about things that are good for us. It is a principle with a promise. We are promised both temporal and spiritual blessings for obeying the Word of Wisdom. (D&C 89:18-21)

Melissa teaches at a residential treatment center for girls. She sees teenagers who have turned to drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms. Substance abuse rewires your brain. Those changes are something you must then learn to deal with the rest of your life. The Word of Wisdom ties social, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical wellness together.

Pearl is Melissa's visiting teaching companion. She is 97 years old. She has never tasted coffee or alcohol. She has been serving as a missionary in the family history center on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays since 1994! She loves her work. Bring a flash drive, and she'll show you how to get going with your family history. Surely Pearl's good choices with regard to the Word of Wisdom have helped her health and have helped keep her in a position where she can serve so well as a missionary.

How do you share the Word of Wisdom without seeming like you think you're better than everyone else?

• Amanda: Share facts (not necessarily gospel-related). Facts are non-judgmental. (Melissa added to this that some facts, like that smoking and alcohol are bad for pregnant ladies, are commonly accepted truths.)
• Terri: Be a loving, wonderful example of the spirit. Don't lecture, especially to teenagers. Lecturing distances you from people. Pray to be the very best example you can be.
• Pat's husband was the vice-president of the Rotary club in SW Africa. When the group wondered about where they could have their meetings, he offered his home as an option. Before he would let them accept his offer, he said part of the deal is that there wouldn't be coffee, tea, alcohol, or smoking at the meetings. They accepted his offer to meet at his home. Pat served snacks. At the end of the first meeting, the men commented that it was the best meeting they'd had in years!
• Amara said her son Aiden was playing cowboys, and he proposed that she serve him a "beer" at the "bar." She was surprised, but it was a great opportunity to talk about how it's not good to even pretend to drink beer.

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have a reputation as a peculiar people. We should strive to live up to this reputation as a good thing. Living the Word of Wisdom will make us happier, better people.

October Relief Society Night Activity

We had an amazing Relief Society night activity on Thursday, October 4. We started out by visiting with each other and munching on some veggies with three healthy and delicious dips made by members of our talented RS night committee: ranch dressing and two kinds of hummus. You can get the recipes here.

Gwen Whiting talked with us about having a positive outlook. She displayed a bunch of photos of smiling, beautiful people--and then told us, one by one, the challenges those people were facing in their lives. When we look at people, we don't always see the struggles they are having, yet we all have challenges. The trick is learning to face them with a positive attitude, trusting in the Atonement to make up for what we can't do ourselves. Gwen talked about her own life motto, which she adopted to help her cope with troubles in her own life: live, laugh, love. When trouble presents itself, you can't just shut down. You have to go on living. Always look for opportunities to laugh. Laughing helps you emotionally and physically. And don't forget love. Love and serve others; love yourself, and love the Savior. If you remember and follow these guidelines, you'll be able to get through anything. Gwen gave us each a copy of the poem, "Footprints."

Amara Doxey talked with us about nutrition. She is a wealth of knowledge for improving our health through how we eat. She also answered questions people had. (Amara counsels people on food and supplements as part of her employment at Good Earth foods. She is also a yoga instructor.) She encouraged all of us to eat 3-5 servings of vegetables every day. She recommends eating 80% raw foods, working up to that if it's hard at first. She said we should drink 1/2 to 1 ounce of water for every pound we weigh. She also recommended whole grains, unprocessed sugars (such as sucanat), and getting our omega-3's. We said we should avoid processed foods and chemicals like MSG. She said it can be expensive to eat this way, but there are ways to cut costs: buy things in bulk, grow some of your own food, and buy things online at Vitacost.com.  Amara has a blog where you can learn more about her philosophies and also get some great, healthy recipes.

Last, Dayne Petersen, Melinda's husband and a plastic surgeon, spoke about skin care. There are three levels of skin care: protect, rejuvenate, and restore. Our first focus is on protecting our skin. Rejuvenation is processes or treatments that restore a more youthful appearance, like microdermabrasion and Botox. Restoration is where something has gone wrong and needs to be fixed, like when you have skin cancer removed. Dayne gave us good pointers about how to take care of our faces. In the morning, we should focus on cleansing, moisturizing, and sun protection. At night, we should remember cleansing, moisturizing, and skin renewal. He recommended some products and ingredients that are good for keeping your face clean and healthy. Click here to see his slide show. The big takeaway from Dayne's remarks is that it's really important to protect your face from the sun because having skin cancer removed is not something anyone has on her bucket list.

Thanks to these wonderful people for preparing their presentations for us. And thanks to our hard-working Relief Society night committee members for organizing everything and preparing the treats. It's fun to get together once a month as Relief Society sisters.