New Youth Curriculum for 2013

Today was the 5th Sunday in December, so we had a combined lesson with the Priesthood brethren. Many of the Young Men and Young Women leaders were also with us today, as a skeleton crew held down the fort with the youth. We all had a great opportunity to learn more about the new youth curriculum for 2013, as outlined on LDS.org. (You know I was eating it up, since I'm an LDS.org junkie. This is cooler than sliced bread. And if there's one thing I like as well as computers, it's bread.)

Stuart Collyer, the 2nd counselor in our bishopric, encouraged all of us to get familiar with the new web site, "Come, Follow Me," at www.lds.org/youth/learn. It is designed for those who teach the youth of the Church (ages 12-18) in the Sunday School, Aaronic Priesthood, and Young Women organizations. It's also helpful for parents, grandparents, and anyone else who cares about the youth of the Church. (I think that should cover all of us.) CLICK HERE to check it out. The web site includes introductory videos, a Getting Started section with all kinds of ideas, FAQs, information about printing (since youth instructors will no longer get printed manuals), and videos that are appropriate to share with the youth during lessons.

Every month, there is a general principle for the lessons. There are more topics within each section than there are lessons, however, so Young Men and Young Women leaders will coordinate with the youth leaders (class and quorum presidencies) to determine which topics to cover.

Sunday school instructors will also use the same overall topic, but Sunday school lessons will have a different focus in that they will be more application-oriented. Hence, even though the youth will be learning about the same doctrine, they won't feel they are getting the same lessons over and over.

In the "Introductory Videos" section (right at the top of the main web site), there are several videos designed to help leaders, who have a big adjustment from "just" teaching what's in the lesson manual every week. For example, CLICK HERE to see a video that helps an instructor determine what to teach.

• Study the material provided on the web site --> Ponder --> Receive revelation.
• Talk with parents of the youth to see what they think is needed.
• Coordinate with the other youth instructors (possibly even including seminary teachers).
• Ask the youth in class/quorum presidency meetings.

Instructors are not just "teaching lessons." They are focusing on conversion, or helping the youth really internalize and live and love the gospel. This is teaching in the Lord's way.

What's the process for teaching in the Lord's way?

1. Prepare yourself (the teacher) spiritually. The online curriculum provides oodles of information.
2. Go into class with a broad understanding of the topic and some resources to share (stories, videos, etc.)
3. Let the spirit guide what to teach.
4. Share experiences. Encourage the youth to share experiences that relate to things learned previously.
5. Introduce the doctrine.
6. Learn together. (The web site includes teaching tips.)
7. Live what we are learning. (The web site includes links to ideas about how to apply learning.)

Bishop Weber emphasized that, as adults, we are to focus on conversion. We are helping prepare the youth to serve missions and live the gospel throughout their lives.

What are some characteristics of teaching in the Savior's way?

• Love the youth you serve.
• Know the youth you teach.
• Prepare yourself.
• Use the scriptures.
• Share stories/parables.
• Ask meaningful questions.
• Invite class members to testify.
• Trust those whom you teach.
• Exercise faith.
• Be an example/mentor.

When Bishop Weber was younger, he met an Institute teacher who taught him about the Book of Mormon and was an excellent teacher and mentor. His learning from this man and on his own eventually lead to Bishop Weber's conversion. Bishop Weber likened his conversion story to taking a rocket to the moon. There are three stages of engines on a rocket; each performs its function, then drops away. The final engine takes the rocket all the way to the moon. As leaders of auxiliaries in the Church, we must be Christ-centered and gospel-focused, and our teaching must lead to personal effort because that's the "third stage" that's going to take people all the way to their conversion. Click HERE to see more ideas from the introduction of the "Come, Follow Me" curriculum.

President Wilkinson concluded today's lesson by saying that all the methodologies outlined in the new youth curriculum are just as effective for teaching adults. "Preach My Gospel," the current missionary curriculum, is the predecessor to the new youth curriculum. Look at the patterns and principles outlined in these two programs, and adapt them to adult Sunday school, priesthood, and Relief Society lessons. Alma 31:5 reminds us that the word of God has great power. "When we teach from the scriptures and in the Savior's way, members of our classes will come away with answers to their questions and solutions to their problems, not just a pretty quote."

Scriptures can calm an agitated soul, giving peace, hope,

and a restoration of confidence in one’s ability

to overcome the challenges of life. They have potent power

to heal emotional challenges when there is faith in the Savior.

They can accelerate physical healing. Scriptures

can communicate different meanings

at different times in our life, according to our needs.

--Elder Richard G. Scott, "The Power of Scripture,"

October 2011 General Conference

Be Anxiously Engaged

Today Emily Cook taught our Relief Society lesson. It was based on the October 2012 General Conference address by Elder M. Russell Ballard, "Be Anxiously Engaged."

Elder Ballard began his talk by sharing some facts about honey bees. Did you know there are 20,000 to 60,000 bees working in a hive to collect nectar to make honey? Each bee lives for only a few weeks, and its contribution is only about 1/12 of a teaspoon of honey. Because bees are such hard workers and because they work together to make the hive successful, the beehive is a symbol frequently seen in the Church, including both inside and outside many temples. Elder Ballard encouraged us to be "anxiously engaged" like they honeybees.

What do you think of when you hear the term "anxiously engaged"?

• Your heart is in involved. -Marilyn B.
• You have a purpose. -Alison
• You're proactive. You give of your whole self. -Tavah
• You're eager, focused. -Emily

Elder Ballard quoted Matthew 22:36-39, which tells us we must love the Lord God with all our heart, soul, and mind and love our neighbors as ourselves. We can study the Savior's life as a perfect pattern. Elder Ballard said that the Savior's words are both simple and profound.

• It doesn't have to be overwhelming to follow the Savior's example. -Wendy
• Some bees in the beehive only flap their wings all day, every day. They never gather nectar, but their task "air conditions" the hive and makes all the other work possible. -Mandy
• Motherhood is filled with tedium. You make breakfast and clean up, and it's time to start thinking about lunch. But these jobs are important. We need to recognize that there is value in mundane tasks. -Marilyn B.

Debbie read a quote from Elder Ballard's address: What would be the cumulative effect of millions of small, compassionate acts performed daily by us because of our heartfelt Christian love for others? Over time this would have a transformative effect upon all of our Heavenly Father’s children through the extension of His love to them through us. Our troubled world needs this love of Christ today more than ever, and it will need it even more in the years ahead.

Elder Ballard encouraged us to increase our dedication and become truly converted to the gospel. What does this mean to you?

• After Christ was crucified, His disciples went back to fishing. Similarly, we can feel the truth of different teachings "in the moment," but then it's easy to go back to doing things the way you've always done them. It's work to make the gospel a part of your everyday life. -Mandy
• The natural human being is selfish. We need to hear about charity to remind us about what is important. -Valorie
• It's easy to be nice to people we bump into here and there, but we especially need to focus on our own homes and our family members. Sometimes it's harder to be nice to them all the time, and yet they are the ones who matter most. -Leslie
• When we are "born again," it means the spirit has really changed us. Nice things come out when we talk because that's just who we are. -Terri
• If we're truly converted, we approach all we do as if we are acting for Christ, in His name. -Robin
• My husband and I went to the temple in London. Shortly afterward, we were called to Namibia, an area where there was no established branch of the church. We served where we were called. We found four families of LDS members who were "in hiding." We had church every Sunday, including the sacrament. One of those sisters now works in the Johannesburg Temple. Never second-guess what the Lord can do. -Pat N.
• We give other people the benefit of a doubt. -Sue

When you have integrity, what you do matches what you say you believe. It is daily work to become a true disciple of Christ.

Valorie read a quote from Elder Ballard: "Integrity simplifies our lives and amplifies our sensitivities to the Spirit and to the needs of others. It brings joy into our lives and peace to our souls—the kind of joy and peace that comes to us as we repent of our sins and follow the Savior by keeping His commandments."

Elder Ballard challenged us to serve every day. In your morning prayers, ask for guidance to find someone you can help that day. Stay focused on that goal, and you'll find people you can help.

Emily said she tried this challenge this week as she was preparing her lesson. It was harder than she expected! It's easy sometimes to give help when someone asks you to do something specific for a certain person, on a certain day, at a specified time. It's much harder when you're relying on the spirit to guide to to someone who needs your help.

Betsy reminded us of President Monson's admonition to "always follow a prompting." Several sisters said they often have prompting that it's easy to ignore because they seem silly or inconvenient, but they know they could do better.

How can we serve?

• One sister (Sandy? I couldn't see who was speaking) said that her ward had a long-standing tradition of serving families in their ward at Christmastime. Many ward members participated and just loved it. However, one year the bishop issued a new challenge. Instead of the ward directing people's Christmas efforts, ward members were asked to pray about whom they should serve. The whole "secret Santa" that year was on the shoulders of the individual members and families in the ward. It was a whole different, more personal, experience.
• Jessica's sister prayed that she would have an opportunity to invite someone over to dinner when they had the missionaries there. She went out every day with that in mind. As it turned out, no one came to dinner with the missionaries (her invitation was declined); nonetheless, she was astonished at the many missionary opportunities she had in her everyday life, just because that was her focus.
• When Janice was in the hospital, she prayed for a way that she could serve. There was a woman there with Alzheimer's Disease, and Janice was able to have many conversations with her and keep her company. There was also many with cystic fibrosis whom she befriended. Additionally, nurses and physical therapists seemed to come out of the woodwork to discuss their problems of one nature or another. Janice was so grateful for the opportunity she had to serve, even though she was in the hospital.
• Julie said that the Lord knows our desires; if our hearts are in it, He'll open up opportunities for us. Emily remarked that sometimes those opportunities can be scary.
• Mandy said she was older when she got married. She was just so grateful that she committed that she would never yell at her husband. She said she's been close sometimes, but she remembered this story: A woman was complaining about how she was so sick of cleaning up after her husband. She was already busy enough cleaning up after her kids; couldn't he take care of his own junk? Then an older sister tapped her on the shoulder and said she'd recently lost her husband--she would be so glad if he were around so that she could pick up his socks. It helps to keep your perspective.
• Pearl said that Santa came early. There were about 12 children in the house, an they were all so loud and happy. It really made Christmas to see that they were cared about.
• Tavah said she has wonderful visiting teachers--and she's trying to do a better job of being a good
  visiting teacher herself.

That simple practice is: In your morning prayer each new day, ask Heavenly Father to guide you to recognize an opportunity to serve one of His precious children. Then go throughout the day with your heart full of faith and love, looking for someone to help. Stay focused, just like the honeybees focus on the flowers from which to gather nectar and pollen. If you do this, your spiritual sensitivities will be enlarged and you will discover opportunities to serve that you never before realized were possible.

I know that if you do this—at home, at school, at work, and at church—the Spirit will guide you, and you will be able to discern those in need of a particular service that only you may be able to give. You will be prompted by the Spirit and magnificently motivated to help pollinate the world with the pure love of Christ and His gospel.

Terri said that the spirit empowers us so we won't feel overwhelmed in service and so we can do everything else that is necessary.

And remember, like the little honeybee’s one-twelfth teaspoon of honey provided to the hive, if we multiply our efforts by tens of thousands, even millions of prayerful efforts to share God’s love for His children through Christian service, there will be a compounding effect of good that will bring the Light of Christ to this ever-darkening world. Bound together, we will bring love and compassion to our own family and to the lonely, the poor, the broken, and to those of our Heavenly Father’s children who are searching for truth and peace.

Righteous Living in Perilous Times

Jana Harris taught today's lesson. It was #24 from the George Albert Smith manual--our last lesson from this manual. Click HERE to read the lesson on LDS.org.

Jana began by saying that it would be easy to get discouraged about the state of our world today. She held up Saturday's newspaper with a huge headline, "Unthinkable horror." Then she remarked that President George Albert Smith made comments about society during the first half of the 20th century that were remarkably fitting to our world today. This lesson is every bit as appropriate for our time as it was when President Smith was the prophet.

Sister Belle Spafford, an earlier general Relief Society president, felt that the Church wasn't getting anything out of their membership in the National Council of Women. She went to President Smith with the recommendation that the Church cancel its membership. Instead, President Smith told her to focus not on what she could get from the organization but what she could contribute. We can take the same approach in the community where we live and the organizations to which we belong. Jana demonstrated how a flashlight turned on in the Relief Society room didn't shine very brightly. However, when the overhead lights were turned off, the flashlight seemed much brighter. As the world gets darker and Satan's influences are more readily apparent, our example of gospel principles can be a light to the world.

(Um, I think this is going to be the second time where I spend three days humming "We Can Be a Light" from the Hope of America program after typing up notes about a Relief Society lesson. If you've ever had a 5th grader around here, you know what I'm talking about.)

Jana summarized an op-ed piece by state senator Dan Liljenquist about how families are the real source of help for a the world. (Click HERE to read it.)

John 14:27 tells us that we can have peace, well-being, and confidence from living the gospel.

Betsy heard about people who were taking down their Christmas decorations in the wake of the Newtown, Connecticut, mass killings because they didn't want to celebrate. It is sad to "cancel Christmas" when the only real way to peace is by turning to the Savior.

Jolie said we could be lost in the black hole of all the bad things happening around us, but the scriptures and the gospel give us  hope for a better world. See Ether 12:3-4.

Janice added that Ether 8:26 tells us that through the gospel, evil will be done away and that Satan will have no power over the hearts of men.

Valorie said that her daughter was a KSL newscaster who reported on the spelunking incident where a man died in Nutty Putty cave. She got callused from always reporting bad news and changed to a different profession. While that's understandable, Terri added that in some ways it's exciting to see the downward spiral of society. We know that the righteous will rise up and be victors.

Margaret commented that she knows two couples who are PR missionaries for the Church in Geneva, Switzerland, and New York City. Since Mitt Romney's presidential campaign, they have been super busy being ambassadors for the Church. Terri's visitor from Alaska commented that many people were disappointed by Romney's loss--not just Church members. There are people who embrace conservative values. Mandy said her brother-in-law, who served in Afghanistan, said it's an important time for LDS people to be protected from those who might have targeted them if Romney won. When he was blessing his daughter, he told her that she would "live to see the end of days." Sue said it may have been Romney's mission to wake up America and also help the Church. Generally speaking, we can feel depressed when bad things happen to us, but we shouldn't stay there. We aren't in this by ourselves. We'll have a better day.

Leslie commented that President Eyring's son spoke at the BYU-Idaho graduation ceremony yesterday. He talked about President Eyring's comment from his upcoming autobiography, that difficult things will happen but if you are living righteously, things work out. President Eyring's wife has Alzheimer's, and that's really hard--but because of the gospel, he has hope for better times to come.

Annette was reminded of President Hinckley, who was always so optimistic. There are good people all over the world who love their families and are doing the best they can.

Terri commented that the new, lower ages for missionary service may double the missionary force.

We need have no fear if we do what the Lord has asked us to do. We should set our lives in order and trust that the Lord is in charge. The peace that the gospel offers isn't that our burdens will disappear; it's that we will be made equal to meet them.

"Be as anchors in the community in which you live

that others may be drawn to you and feel secure.

Let your light so shine
that others seeing your good works

will have a desire in their hearts to be like you."
--George Albert Smith

Of You It Is Required to Forgive

Vicky Drummond taught today's Relief Society lesson. It was #23 in the George Albert Smith manual. You can click HERE to read the lesson online if you don't have a manual.

Vicky began by sharing a touching story called "A Dog's Purpose." Click HERE to read the story and a  few handy lessons we can learn from dogs, such as "When loved ones come home, always run to greet them" and "Never bite when a simple growl will do."

Many of us find it easy to forgive people with strings attached, such as "I'll forgive her when she apologizes" or "I'll forgive him when he pays me back."

Christ was the ultimate example of true forgiveness. As he hung on the cross, he forgave the men who were killing him and those who persecuted them. They didn't ask His forgiveness. They may have felt they didn't need his forgiveness.

Vicky shared a great story of an old donkey who fell into a well. The farmer tried to get him out, but he just couldn't. Finally, he decided the old donkey wasn't worth much and he'd just fill up the well. He got his neighbors to help him shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey was alarmed, braying pitifully. Then the donkey made a great realization. With each shovelful, he shook of the dirt. Eventually, he was able to climb out of the well, free. (Click HERE for the full story if my summary doesn't quite do it for you.) Each of us is going to have dirt thrown on us sometime. We can follow the donkey's example by shaking it off and using it as a growing experience. If the donkey had just stood there braying, he would have been buried; the same thing can happen to us. Don't let injustices get the best of you.

We need to learn to forgive without reservation. Doctrine & Covenants 64:10 tells us we are required to forgive all men.

Part of President George Albert Smith's personal creed was "I would not knowingly wound the feeling of any, not even one who may have wronged me, but would seek to do him good and make him my friend." A close associate of President Smith's said that the ability to forgive was indeed one of his defining attributes.

Vicky asked if anyone had personal experiences with forgiveness that they would like to share.

• Lacey said she had a nemesis in elementary school, a boy who just taunted her and poked her with pencils and made her life miserable. Ever since, she's harbored a distaste for the guy--wherever he is as an adult. Recently, she been making an effort to really get over it and move on.
• Jana's first husband was not a nice guy. He made her life miserable, but she felt she needed to forgive him for the pain he'd caused her and their children. She told him so, and he wasn't gracious about it. He didn't accept her apology--but Jana felt a huge weight lifted from her shoulders.
• Melanie said that she learned that learning to forgive yourself is also so important. When you see your own failings and can't let them go, it can affect your actions and lead you to make choices that maybe aren't the best for you. If you learn to love yourself like Heavenly Father does, you can move forward.
• Marilyn said that a big reason we have trouble forgiving is that we want justice. We need to accept that Heavenly Father will handle wrongs and ensure justice, so we don't need to. She said holding onto anger is like eating poison and hoping the other person will die.
• Betsy said her brother had a rocky home life. His children ended up hating him and disowning him. In his later life, he was in a rest home and was completely abandoned by his family. She urged the children to make amends, but they never did. Their father passed away, alone, from a massive heart attack--and the chance to forgive wrongs and rebuilt relationships was lost.
• Leslie said there's amazing freedom when you repent.
• One day Vicky was shopping with her children. A store worker seemed especially grumpy and put out with Vicky, and Vicky couldn't figure out why. Finally she asked the lady if there was something she'd done to offend her. The store worker was distracted and upset by another issue and hadn't even realized how she was acting toward Vicky. She apologized, and what could have been a negative situation was taken care of, just like that.

To conclude her lesson, Vicky shared a story of the bird cage. Well worth reading. Click HERE.

"The Living Christ" Ward Christmas Party

"The Living Christ" Christmas party was a big success. We enjoyed a wonderful meal together at the stake center. Then we walked through a beautiful display of artwork depicting the Savior. In the chapel, we enjoyed hearing different ward members recite portions of "The Living Christ," interspersed with lovely musical numbers performed by members of the ward.

Thanks to the following people for their contributions as speakers and performers: Teresa Muse, Susan Fisher, Amy Hart, Amara Doxey, Cindy Collyer, AnnaMarie Miller, Kim McConkie, Jolie Hill, Robin DePalma, Angela Webb, Sallie Dodge, Tara Smith, Tavah Babcock, Jana Harris, Mari Fotheringham, Emma Fotheringham, Jessi Jeppson, Annalece Weber, Leslie Weber, Kerry Hardy, Paula Fellingham, Joy Layton, Linda Jones, Cynthia Meyers, the ward choir, Sue Chappell, and Bishop Weber.

Thanks also to our ward choir director, Rebecca Gubler, and our program directors, Melinda Peterson, Sue Spencer, and Teresa Muse.

Click HERE to see some photos taken of the table settings and some people who attended the dinner. (Sorry - no photos of the actual program, which was truly the highlight of the evening.)

RS Presidency Christmas Lesson

The Primary children filed into the Relief Society room at the beginning of our class time today. They sang "Silent Night," and it was beautiful. Thanks to all the Primary children & to Sherri Nelson and Angela Webb for helping them out.

Leslie Weber began her lesson by sharing the story of the Grinch from Elder Holland's book Shepherds, Why This Jubilee? The Grinch learned that Christmas in Whoville wasn't all about the gifts he'd stolen from the villagers, and this is the lesson we all need to remember this season as well.

Leslie skedaddled behind the piano and emerged wearing her second choice for today's holiday dress: a dress covered with Post-it Notes reminding her of all the things she has to do to prepare for Christmas. She said the notes were even color-coded, so she'd know which things she has to tackle first. Sometimes that's how we look during the Christmas season: frazzled. But what are some things that you really enjoy about Christmas?

• Lights
• Music (especially that it's the same every year)
• Family time
• Food
• Feeling the Spirit
• People being nice to each other

Leslie said that once upon a time she taught a Sunday School class of teenagers. She asked them what their families did for Christmas that was Christ-centered. Only one person had something to share. She worries that it's too easy for families to lose Christ.

Melinda commented that Christ is in the background of a lot of what families do during Christmas. We just need to be better about explaining to our children why we do things because they won't know otherwise.

Leslie had several sisters share quotes from our prophets about how to keep Christ in Christmas.

Annette: Celebrate so that angels can join in.

Marilyn: Forget personal discord; make your Christmas heartfelt, but not boisterous. Be generous but not extravagant.

Melinda: Center your faith on God & gain peace. [Joseph F. Smith]

Cathy: Turn away from worldly cares. Seek eternal gifts. [Harold B. Lee]

Shauna: Christ gave the best gifts: vision to the blind, hearing to the deaf, hope to the downtrodden, etc. [Spencer W. Kimball]

Leslie shared the story of "Heavenly Father's Boxes." (Click here to read it.)

Amara played the guitar and sang a beautiful song that she wrote about Christmas when she was a newlywed in Georgia. She gave the song to her family and friends that year because she couldn't afford to give anything else. This year she gave the song to us. Thanks, Amara!

Ronda: Do you want to feel the true spirit of Christmas? Turn your heart to God & give thanks. Ask for His spirit as you strive to serve and keep the commandments. [Howard W. Hunter]

Alison: Take time for silent reflection on the Son of God. [Gordon B. Hinckley]

Valorie said that a friend of hers decided to keep Christmas to three gifts and called them gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

Betsy said one of her favorite memories of Christmas with her children was lighting a candle and reading Christmas stories together by the fireplace. Her children have continued the tradition with their own families. Leslie recommended "The Best Christmas Pagaent Ever." 

Someone else recommended reading "The Christmas Jar," collecting funds in a Mason jar, and a doing Christmas project with your children using the money you collected throughout the year/season.

Liz said her family loves to go to Temple Square and see the lights and feel the spirit of Christmas. 

Annette reiterated that as we do things we should remember to point out things that symbolize Christ. 

Leslie said her family has a Christmas box. Every year they open the box and discuss how they did with last year's Christmas present for Jesus and then put in a new goal for the upcoming year.

Annalece Weber came in dressed as a shepherd and sang a beautiful song about Christ from a shepherd's point of view.

President Monson has said that we need to prepare time for the Savior in our day and make room in our hearts for Him.

Leslie read a parable of a wealthy art collector. It's a great story. You can click here to read it yourself.

Julie Beck, the former general Relief Society president, said that as women, we are lionesses at the gates of our homes. What we value will be in our homes. As we approach Christmas, please remember all that the Savior has done for us and keep Him as what we value most about this season.

Consider the Blessings

Kerry Hardy taught our Relief Society lesson today. It was based on President Monson's October 2012 General Conference address, "Consider the Blessings."

Kerry always makes amazing handouts for her lessons, and today was no exception. Ifyou really want an excellent summary of the lesson, click here to see her handout with some of the highlights of the lesson. I'm especially grateful for her handout today, since my duties had me leaving the classroom repeatedly, and it's hard to fully capture the spirit of the lesson--let alone take good notes--when you're not in the room.

Kerry said that from the very time that she heard which General Conference address she would use for her lesson, the song "Consider the Lilies of the Field" was in her head. Jolie Hill sang the song for us, and AnnaMarie Miller accompanied her on the piano. It is a beautiful song that captures so well how our Heavenly Father loves and cares for us. Jolie said that it was also a favorite song of hers and her husband's, especially during the time that he was serving as our ward's bishop. (You can see the lyrics on the handout or click here hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing the song. At the link, choose April 2009 and Saturday morning session from the drop-down menus. You can download a free MP3 file or listen online.)

President Monson encouraged everyone to "take an inventory of your life and look specifically for the blessings, large and small, you have received."

Terri suggested that you keep a journal of the promptings you receive, whether or not you acted upon the prompting, and what happened. If you do so, you will see that your life is so blessed. Kerry said that the Pontius family has been such an example to her. She felt their spirit and their strength when she visited their home. Kerry reminded us that the opportunity to be blessing to others often comes unexpectedly. Sometimes you think you're going to help someone, and they end up helping you even more.

Why are you here on this earth? Karen said it's so she can get everything from life that her Heavenly Father wants for her.

How do we get individual direction in our lives? Karen suggested prayer and the scriptures. She said the scriptures are "like a magical book" for her--different phrases or ideas just jump out at her when she needs them. Our patriarchal blessings are also a source of individual direction.

Tara said that one of her best family home evenings ever was when she taught her children about the pattern of the psalms using some of Neal A. Maxwell's teachings. Then each child wrote a psalm following the pattern of Nephi's psalm, which begins with a complaint but evolves to a prayer of gratitude. It meant so much to her to hear her children's thoughts and gratitude in such a poetic, spiritual way.

The Lord is in all of our lives. He loves us.

He wants to bless us. He wants us to seek his help.

As He guides us and directs us

and as He hears and answers our prayers,

we will find the happiness here and now

that He desires for us. --President Monson

Bringing Up Children in Light and Truth

Lisa Schoonover taught today's lesson. It was #22 from the George Albert Smith lesson manual, "Bringing Up Children in Light and Truth."

Parents teach their children by word and by example. When Edith Smith was a child, a streetcar conductor once missed collecting her fare. Young Edith was thrilled to keep her nickel and told her father about it. President George Albert Smith listened patiently but prompted young Edith to go back to the street corner and pay her fare when the streetcar returned. This lesson of honesty stuck with her all throughout her life.

How did President Smith handle this situation well?

• He didn't react with anger. He was patient instead of angry. ~Jana
• He called upon things Edith already knew; it was a reminder instead of a lecture. ~Marilyn

What have you learned about parents teaching their children?

• I was in the BYU Children's Choir as a child. I had a little change to buy some candy afterward. I only had enough money to buy one dollar mint. A man who was in line behind me bought me a whole bag of the chocolates. His example inspired me to want to do nice things for other people. ~Amara
• When one of my daughters was young, she was playing doctor with a friend, and I didn't handle it well when I found out. What I said hurt her feelings, and she carried a lot of guilt that she had to work through in counseling later. In retrospect, I wish I'd handled the situation better. We need to help our children build a postive self-image. ~Betsy
• Some farm boys in Idaho were throwing tomatoes at passing cars. A man whose car was hit went to tell their mother. The boys just knew they were in big trouble. Instead, the mother instructed her son to spank her "because I've failed as a mother to teach you the things that are important." The boy felt awful. Thinking about that experience made the boy choose more wisely in the future and made him a better man. ~Marquelle
• When my son was younger, sometimes I made him lunch and sometimes I gave him money to buy school lunch. He liked school lunch and decided to secure more meals for himself by swiping $50 from the place where I kept our family's grocery money. His teacher noticed the $50 bill and asked my son about it, and he told her I'd given it to him. She called to alert me to the situation. Needless to say, I wasn't very happy. I decided to go right over to the school and confront my son. I got to the playground, and my son noticed me coming. He ran up and said, "I know why you're here." I asked why, and he said, "You just came to see me play!" I looked at him, and he looked like such a little angel with his blond hair and his big, blue eyes. I just couldn't yell at him. I told him that yes! I had come to see him play. He was so happy that I'd come. I went home and prayed about what to do, and Heavenly Father helped me address the money situation in a kinder, gentle way. I was so grateful! ~Trena
• I went to the movies with a friend as a child. After the movie, my friend was instructed to call her mother and let the phone ring three times, then hang up & the mother would know that it was time to come pick her up. This practice bothered me because it was obviously a way to get around paying for the phone. We need to set a good example for our children. ~Cindy
• When my husband was a teenager, he had a great Scout leader who instructed him to read his scriptures every day and he would be protected and blessed. My husband followed his advice and has been so blessed by the scriptures. In May this year, my husband donated a kidney to his younger brother. He went without morphine because he was afraid it would make him too groggy to read his scriptures. ~Amanda

Do not leave the training of your children to the public schools. Do not leave their training to the Primary, to the Sunday School, or the [Church's youth organizations]. They will help you and make a fine contribution but remember what God himself has said, that parents who do not teach their children faith in God, repentance and baptism and the laying on of hands when eight years of age, the sin be upon the heads of the parents. See D&C 68:25-28. {Lesson manual, p. 235}

[I had to skedaddle the tithing settlement sign-up sheet down to the elders quorum at this point, so I missed a little bit.] Church auxiliaries build on what parents teach. They don't replace parents. Teresa commented that she and her husband had a son who drove them crazy. He wasn't a bad kid, but he was just hard for them. However, he had a Scout leaders who helped so much. Teresa feels they were instrumental in helping keep her son on the strait and narrow path. 

Lacey is closer in age to some of her nieces and nephews than she is to her siblings. Consequently, she gets to be the "cool aunt." She tries not to miss opportunities to teach her nieces and nephews about things like not dating before they are 16; sometimes the things she says go over better than the same things said by their parents.

A parent's example can lead a child to safety, righteousness, and happiness. ...Teach your sons and daughters how to live to be happy. Let our homes be sanctuaries of peace and hope and love. {Lesson manual, p. 238}

Love and teach your youth to safeguard them from evil. Study the gospel together as a family. Family Home Evening was instituted in 1915, and it's still a good idea.

Lisa concluded by saying that she is so grateful for her parents' teaching and also for her opportunity to be a parent--and now a grandparent. She hopes that her children, like those mentioned in the lesson, will say that she taught them well.

The Power of Kindness

Julie Wilkinson taught today's Relief Society lesson about the power of kindness. It was lesson #21 from the George Albert Smith manual. (You can click here to read the lesson on lds.org if you don't have a copy of the manual.)

Julie got our attention by announcing that she was going to start her lesson with a confession. Then she told us that she really doesn't like being cut off in traffic, especially on the freeway. She once tracked a guy down in a parking lot to give him a piece of her mind. What? Our sweet Julie? She says she's doing much better now. However, once when she was still sometimes less than patient with drivers, someone cut her off. She bit her tongue and didn't say a word. Then her son John chimed in from the back seat, "You idiot!" And she felt really bad for corrupting her son.

Julie said she has the world's kindest neighbors. When her husband hurt his back this year, Sally mowed the Wilkinsons' yard all summer. Roger cut down Russian olive trees and beautified their view of the lake. Janice weeded their yard. Stan removed the motor to winterize their water feature and put up shelves in their storage room. All these things were unasked-for favors.

Julie wants us to know that there is real POWER in kindness. The manual gave an example from President Smith's life when some road workers were doing a project in the heat of summer, and their language was pretty foul. Some neighbors asked them to please watch their words, even pointing out that the prophet lived nearby, to no avail. Then President Smith went out and spoke kindly with the workers and gave them some lemonade and invited them to take a short break in the shade on his lawn. Afterward, they went back to work carefully and peacefully.

Our church leaders are also an excellent example of kindness. This past week, they issued a dignified response to the presidential election.

Satan encourages us to criticize others. Why do you think it's so easy to be critical of people?

• We form judgments based on what we see and think. It's in our nature to think that we know how people should be. -Marilyn
• Sometimes you feel better getting a negative comment off your chest. Liz confessed she bought a bunch of cards that said, "Life, get one" and sent them anonymously to people who did something that bugged her.
• We erroneously think that people will change if we criticize them. -Terri

Mosiah 3:19 tells us that the natural man is an enemy to god, but it also tells us how to overcome our natural tendencies by yielding to the spirit. Terri commented that the consequences of yielding to the spirit are spiritual gifts--meekness, humility, patience, love, and the willingness to submit our wills to Heavenly Father's.

Julie shared personal experiences of receiving kindness from others during her three pregnancies. During her first pregnancy, she had an 18-inch blood clot in her leg and her life was in danger. During her stay in the hospital, Elder Maxwell came to the hospital and gave her a blessing and also put her name on the First Presidency's prayer roll. During her second pregnancy (with Jon), Sister Maxwell visited Julie when she was hospitalized during the month of December. During the middle of her third pregnancy, everything seemed to be going so well (for the first time) when suddenly and without explanation, her baby passed away. She was devastated, but was blessed, once again, by a visit from Sister Maxwell, who left her with a note that said, "Sweet Julie, I wept with you over your loss." 

These experiences inspired Julie to reach out to others who were going through difficult times. She had an older sister in her ward who had never married and who became very ill and was hospitalized during December. Thinking of her lonely time in the hospital, Julie went to visit and brought the sister a gift of pink slippers. She sister was so touched. Later, Julie visited her in her home when she was under the care of hospice--and there were the pink slippers on her feet. They meant so much to her because they were a gift of caring and love. Julie's pointed out that there's power in kindness and also in following the good examples of others. She wouldn't have thought to visit the sister in the hospital during a busy December had it not been for Sister Maxwell's visit to her and knowing how much that had meant to her.

President Monson said that the level of kindness we show in our lives is indicative of the level of Heavenly Father's influence in our lives.

What are the blessings we receive by being kind?

• Comfort -Trena
• It's something we can control; we can take the high ground and keep ourselves unsullied, even in difficult circumstances. -Tara
• It gives us an opportunity to see people as the Savior sees them. It gives our lives a better perspective and a more spiritual focus. -Jolie
• It brings the spirit into our lives and helps us build Zion. Kindness will rule in the terrestrial realm of the Millenium. -Terri
• It gives us an opportunity to bless others and receive their thanks in return. -Pat shared a story about how she and her husband helped a homeless man in South Africa named Mr. Duke. He was hospitalized with an illness, perhaps related to his hard living. They gave him rides, did his laundry, and paid for him to have a train ride home. Later, he sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers to thank them.
• Love for others, improved relationships, increased self-esteem, improved ability to praise others and see them good in them. -Julie

How do we become kinder? Amanda said we need to yield to the spirit. Julie agree that we should pray for help & let the Holy Ghost be our guide, fast, attend the temple, search the scriptures (especially examples of the Savior's kindness & patience), and wait upon the Lord with patience until his nature takes over. We can't change our own natures. Only the Atonement can fully change us.

Julie shared another experience. She was a Relief Society president, and one of the sisters in her ward didn't agree with something she did and really raked Julie over the coals about it, several times. Julie's feelings were so hurt and she was so upset. She prayed for months to be able to forgive the lady--and then one day, she woke up and the pain was gone, and she realized that she loved that woman. She knew it was through the Atonement that she was able to feel that way.

Elder Hales said that denying ourselves of ungodly behavior (such as unkindness) is the beginning of changing into the kind people Heavenly Father wants us to be.

Ether 12:27 says that Heavenly Father gives us weakness so we will be humble. If we are humble and have faith, Heavenly Father will make our weaknesses into strengths. If you're a mean person but you want to change, you can take it to Heavenly Father and He'll help turn you into someone nice!

Attitude of Gratitude

Sue Spencer taught our Relief Society lesson today. In keeping with our upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, the topic was gratitude.

When Sue's son Mark was young, he ran into a mailbox while riding his bike and needed stitches. Turned out he was riding with his eyes closed. Sue encouraged us to keep our eyes open, so we can see our blessings (and avoid the emergency room of ingratitude).

So often in the scriptures, we are urged to remember--remember the Savior, the blessings we receive from our Heavenly Father, the plan of salvation, etc. President Eyring encouraged us to remember the kindness of God as well. (Click here to see a talk by President Eyring. It may or may not be the talk Sue referred to, but it's a good one.) When we remember our blessings, we are happier and our testimonies grow.

[I wasn't sitting in the best spot to see everyone who spoke up during our lesson today, so some of the class comments I noted will be nameless. Please don't feel snubbed if you're one of the unmentioned ones. Thanks to everyone who participated!]

What does gratitude mean? To appreciate what we have, to feel thankful, and to share what we have.

What gets in the way of gratutide?

• Ego
• Bitterness (Lacey)
• Pride
• Selfishness
• Sadness (Karen)
• Envy (Cindy)
• Negative attitude
• Busy-ness of life
• Not being in the habit of noticing good things (Leslie)
• Feeling of entitlement (Betsy)
• Being too intellectual (Pat)
• Abundance
• Having a tiny perspective (Paula)

How do you cope with challenges that make it hard to feel grateful?

• Sometimes you need a reminder to refocus. Amara told how her husband took their boys out for a fun day at City Creek. They had a wonderful time, but at one point her son got lost and there was a bit of a scramble before he was found. Amara felt so frustrated that she hadn't been there to do anything about it, and she was upset with her husband. He reminded her that they had a wonderful day and that everything turned out well and that she shouldn't overlook all the good things that happened during that day.
• Sometimes you need to snap out of your "poor me, pity me" attitude. -Valorie
• "Count Your Many Blessings" (think of the words to the hymn) -Marilyn
• Look at what you have. Tavah went to McDonald's with her kids one day and she was feeling a little frazzled. There was another mom there with her four children, and Tavah made a comment about what a handful kids could be. The lady said yeah, she was struggling because her husband just left her and she was going through chemotherapy. All of a sudden, Tavah's children seemed a lot easier to manage.
• Have an "attitude of gratitude." -Pat
• Sometimes you want to run away or blame someone else, but instead you forge on. -Sue
• Maintain a sense of humor. -Liz

What does it cost you when you don't feel gratitude?

• Peace
• Missing the moment -Jolie
• The influence of the Holy Ghost (guidance or peace) -Melinda
• It impacts your family. You may miss out on family love, unity, or being a good example. -Marilyn
• It can affect your health. -Nancy
• Happiness & joy -Amara

Marilyn commented that when you have challenges or losses in your life, it's OK--necessary, even--to grieve. Having an attitude of gratitude doesn't mean you must be Pollyanna all the time. We do have struggles and serious challenges to overcome, and we don't want to disregard them.

 Sue said that the Christmas after her husband's accident, her children clamored for her to put up the Christmas lights. She didn't feel like doing it, but she soldiered on. It was difficult, leaving her in tears at one point. However, her children stuck with her and eventually they had lights. Her children we grateful for that little bit of normalcy, and she was grateful that she was able to provide it for them after all they'd been through together.

Take five minutes every day to reflect on your blessings. Allison said it's easier to focus on Heavenly Father when we focus on our blessings. Leslie added that doing so will build our faith--and that faith is what we can turn to in times of tragedy. Sue told how she was able to find blessings even in having an ant invasion one Christmas.

The Holy Ghost helps us see the light. Jolie told about her sister, whose husband was killed in a horrific accident. The sister was comforted by the Holy Ghost; she spoke at her husband's funeral and was able to comfort others. She felt that things would be OK.

Sue's daughter was called to visit teach someone new. She learned that sister was struggling with her husband, who had suffered a serious head injury. Having been through the same experience with her father, Sue's daughter was in a position to help that sister.

Sue had us close our eyes and think of three things we are grateful for. While we were thinking, she said that was the Holy Ghost, helping us think of those things.

Tara Smith sang "Count Your Blessings" from White Christmas. (Thanks, Tara!) The song talks about counting your blessings as you go to sleep instead of counting sheep. Click here for the Bing Crosby version.

Sue referred to four guideposts that President Monson shared with students during a BYU devotional:

• Glance backward.
• Look heavenward.
• Reach outward.
• Press onward.

During a hard time in her life, Sue had three signs hanging in her house that helped her get keep a good attitude:

• Focus on what's present, not on what's missing. 
• Whatever God's blessed you with, take it gratefully.
• Find joy in the journey.

Watch the Family Home Evening display outside the Relief Society room this month for ideas about how to teach gratitude in Family Home Evening. There are handouts that you can take home. Thanks, Allison, for putting those together for everyone.

That the Lost May Be Found

Kerry Hardy just had sinus surgery, and she's still recuperating, but, like the trooper she is, she taught our Relief Society lesson today--and did a fantastic job. The lesson was taken from the April 2012 General Conference address, "That the Lost May Be Found," by Elder M. Russell Ballard.

CLICK HERE to see Kerry's amazing class handout. Please note that she designed the second page so that if you like the quotes, you can cut them out and make them into nifty magnets to display on your refrigerator. (Or if your refrigerator is the psuedo-metal stainless steel that won't hold magnets and thereby deprives you of all the cuteness and wisdom you once had before you got your new fridge, you can put them on the back door that goes out to your garage or on the side of your filing cabinet--or use them as bookmarks.)

Kerry started out by telling about her road trip across the country with her daughter. They had a GPS on a iPhone and everything was going great--until they lost reception and found themselves lost in the Black Hills! Kerry felt so disconnected. She related that to her life generally; she never wants to "lose reception" and be cut off from the Holy Ghost, which is like a life GPS.

Individuals or whole societies can become lost.

Elder Ballard's talk includes some startling statistics about declines in society. Fortunately, the gospel provides direction for us. The gospel especially teaches us values that can help our families. Elder Ballard said, "The most important cause of our lifetime is our families. If we will devote ourselves to this cause, we will improve every other aspect of our lives and will become, as a people and as a church, an example and a beacon for all peoples of the earth." Elder Ballard pointed out some positive statistics that were discovered by social scientists among faithful members of the church--statistics that demonstrate how living the gospel helps us buck the negative trends of the world.

Elder Ballard listed four ways in which we can trust in the power of God to guide us and prevent ourselves from getting lost:

1. Prioritize. - Keep families at the top of your list.
2. Do things in the right order. - Marriage first, then kids.
3. Be equal partners in your marriage. - Follow the family proclamation.
4. Use the family resources of the church. - Parents (not church leaders) are ultimately responsible for raising our children, but we should use resources like the scriptures, the Church magazines, and lds.org to help us.

As we prioritize, we need to make sure that things we do outside our homes strengthen and support our families. Kerry challenged us to think about one thing that we can do better as we prioritize in our lives and then really focus on improving in that area.

In today's world, it's increasingly seen as OK to have children first and get married later (or not at all). Unfortunately, this is a trend also seen within the church. President Joseph F. Smith said that young men who choose not to marry fail the women who would gladly accept family responsibilities. Elder Ballard reminded single women that no career can bring you as much fulfillment as rearing a family. Learning responsibility, and especially being willing to accept family responsibilities, is an important part of doing things in the right order. We had a lively classroom discussion about things we've observed and how we could do better in this area.

• Lacey said she got married right after her husband's mission because they felt it was the right thing to do.
• Amanda said too many single men think that marriage is the end of fun or that there's just not enough money to get married. She got married a little older and gave up a great career for her family and has never been poorer--but it's still a good life.
• Naomi said her son had trouble finding a young lady with his values who wanted to get married.
• Kathy reminded us of President Kimball's admonition to young men who were age 29 and not married. She also said young women should "close your kitchens," so it's not so cushy for men to remain single.
• Shelly said boys don't date; they just "hang out." She reminds her son to ask his girlfriend out on real dates.
• Marilyn said too many are victims of today's "twentysomething culture."
• Amanda said Utah culture fosters fear of dating no-no's. Singles are so afraid of moral pitfalls that they avoid dating. We need to promote that dating can be fun (and remember repentance for those who fall short).
• Kathy said we need to safeguard our sons from pornography and other moral hazards that would make them less appealing companions.
• Lynne said the art of conversation is deteriorating. We need to put down the phones, step away from the keyboards, and talk to each other.
• Sue said we shouldn't do too much for our sons. Don't make them too comfortable. It's good for them to learn to do things for themselves and to know that they're expected to grow up and support themselves.
• Janice said she taught her kids to do their own laundry.

("Lively discussion" is my code for "hope I got all that.") 

Kerry told about how her daughter (Utah girl from birth) is now at Boston University studying film and has had some struggles adjusting to the culture there. There are so many "dark" influences, but she is learning that she can be a light. (Channel your inner Utah 5th grader and cue that "Hope of America" song here.)

Sherri Dew shared 5 principles of influence of LDS women:

• We all have more influence than we think.
• Righteous influence is actually a spiritual gift.
• Having influence is not abut elevating self, but about lifting others.
• It isn't possible to not have influence.
• Women of God have no limit and no end.

President Kimball said that much of the growth in the latter-day church will be because LDS women are distinct in happy ways. Robin, who recently moved here from Virginia, commented that Ann Romney's warm personality has been an example to non-LDS people there and has drawn positive attention.

Kerry encouraged us to look in the mirror and ask ourselves important questions, such as "Am I the woman God needs me to be?" and "Am I willing to walk away from the world and come unto Christ?" 

As you seek to live the gospel and doctrine of Christ, the Holy Ghost will guide you and your family.

Temporal Salvation for Ourselves and Others

Jana Harris taught today's lesson. It was #20 from the George Albert Smith manual, "Temporal Salvation for Ourselves and Others."

Jana prefaced her lesson by reminding us that it's OK to be financially successful. Heavenly Father has promised us blessings if we are faithful and work hard--and some of those blessing may be temporal wealth. But if we are blessed that way, we have an obligation to be generous toward others.

Shortly after World War II ended, the Church was able to provide necessities for many who had been stricken by the war. President Smith said to the members, "There never has been a time, in my judgment, when kindness was more needed than now. These are the days when people's souls are being tried, and when their hearts are being wrung. ... I believe our Heavenly Father is giving us our opportunity for development. ... We will discover now whether the love the Savior said should be in our hearts is among us."

This counsel is applicable to us today. "Let us... look around us in our neighborhood--not leave it to the Bishop and the Relief Society, but let each of us be ministers of loving kindness to those who will need us so much." (p. 220) We can share our financial means if that's what needed, but sometimes what's needed is a kind word, a meal, or a phone call.

If your charity makes someone feel inferior, you're doing it wrong. President Smith reminded us that we are stewards of the things that we have; they are all gifts from a loving Heavenly Father. The way we give makes a difference. Jana shared two examples from the time when she had cancer and was undergoing chemotherapy on Tuesdays. Wednesdays were her worst days, so the Relief Society had sisters bringing meals on Wednesdays. One week a lady whom Jana felt didn't like her very much showed up with dinner. She wasn't very friendly or gracious about how she shared it; Jana said it was the worst meal anyone brought--not because the food was bad, but because she just didn't feel good about how it was given. In contrast, she had a friend who showed up to do her laundry one day when she was truly ill in bed. She was mortified because she didn't want someone washing her underwear and seeing if maybe her whites weren't as white as they should be, etc. But the friend was totally nonjudgmental and kind--and her service was so useful and ended up feeling like a real blessing.

Neither the rich nor the poor should set their hearts upon riches.
Jana referred to two problems people may have as greed and hoarding. If you have a lot but you don't want to share, that's hoarding. If you don't have a lot but you're fixated on getting more, that's greed. Sometimes we focus on the rich who don't want to give, but the sin of poor people who think other people always have an obligation to care for them is no better. See D&C 56:17. It's OK to accept a hand up if you fall on hard times, but it's not OK to think that your welfare is someone else's duty.

If we are wise with our resources, we can often find a way to be self-supporting. It is a worthy goal to think of how we can prepare to be more often on the giving end than the receiving end. we should live within our income and not become a slave to the fashions of the world. President Smith warned that if we spend all our "extra" money on unnecessary things, when hard times come we may not be able to make ends meet. (p. 214)

We should work to earn our living. Often when a society is well off, the youth think money comes easily and work isn't necessary or desirable. (Amazing how these words from President Smith seem even more applicable today than when he said them.)

How can we teach our children to work?

• Karen worries about her son not being a hard worker, but he spent fall break on a ranch with a friend. He worked really hard; the friend's parents were impressed with him. So he has been learning to work, even if he doesn't show it at home.
• Melinda said her children all take music lessons and must practice every day.
• Alison said they talk about priorities--work has to be done before playtime starts.
• Angie stopped buying everything for her kids; she makes them earn things, and they appreciate it so much more.
• Valorie said they bought clunker cars for their kids, but the kids had to work to earn gas money before they could drive anywhere.
• Sue had her children start doing their own laundry when they were 12. For extra activities or items or brand names, the kids had to chip in their own money for part of the purchases.
• Leslie said there was a General Conference talk that referred to children and money. Her own children need to put half their earnings toward tithing and savings, and they can spend the other half.

It's a privilege to pay tithes and offerings.

Julie said that when she and her husband were in college and both unemployed, they had some very tight financial times. At that time, her husband committed to increase his fast offerings whenever he got a raise, a practice he's continued to this day. The Lord is generous with us; we can also be generous with others.

Tithing is an investment with an eternal dividend. We get more blessings from having 9/10 of our money after paying tithing than we would if we kept 100%.

* * *

Start today wherever you are, and remember: if we follow the Lord's counsel, we are better able to meet our own temporal needs and help those in need around us.

Stake Youth Trek 2013 - Meeting

There will be a trek information meeting on Sunday, October 28, at the stake center.

• All youth who will be 12-18 on September 1, 2013
• One parent for each of the youth (must limit numbers because of space)
• Four youth leaders per ward

Please arrive by 6:40 p.m. There will be a lot of people, and stake leaders would like to have everyone seated and quiet so they can begin promptly at 7:00. At this meeting, stake leaders will discuss details about next summer's trek to Martin's Cove, July 17-20.

Temporal and Spiritual Blessings from the Word of Wisdom

Today Melissa Sprague taught our Relief Society lesson. We are happy to have Melissa with us in Relief Society, since she has been teaching in Primary for a long time. The lesson was #19 from the George Albert Smith manual, "Temporal and Spiritual Blessing from the Word of Wisdom."

Melissa began by sharing a story from President George Albert Smith's childhood. As a child, he was afflicted with typhoid fever. The doctor advised three weeks of rest--and coffee. Young George said he didn't want any coffee and asked for a priesthood blessing instead. His obedience to the Word of Wisdom, combined with his simple faith, seemed to the the quick path to wellness. The next day when the doctor came to check up on him, he had recovered and was out playing with the other children.

The story of Daniel from the Old Testament also demonstrates both physical and inspirational blessings that come from obeying the Lord's laws of health. Daniel and his friends refused the king's food and were given 10 days to eat "pulse" (plant-based food) instead. After 10 days, they were healthier than the other young men who were in training to serve King Nebuchadnezzar, and they were permitted to continue their preferred way of eating. (Daniel 1:3-16)

Have there been times when you felt pressure to obey or break the Word of Wisdom?

• Valorie said there were only five LDS students in her high school. She went to parties with the other students, but she never drank alcohol. People knew that doing so was against her standards. Once she was drinking some 7-Up, and someone came and saw it and demanded to know what she was drinking. People expected her to live up to her standards.
• Lacey said she is from a small town, and people there just expected LDS kids to be good. Even when they tried to be "bad," people would stop them. Terri said it was similar in Alaska. People knew the LDS kids didn't drink alcohol or smoke, and they also expected the LDS young women to dress modestly.
• Nancy said that in her family the adults enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. When Nancy joined the church, she told her family that she'd given up wine. It took them a while to get used to the idea, but eventually they accepted it.
• Trena said her brothers put some beer in her fridge when they were helping her mother move. Trena found it and threw it out. She told them she couldn't have it in her house. Years later, she was at her brother's house and he warned her that he had beer in his refrigerator. He wanted her to know he hadn't put it there for her. He remembered her stand.
• Jessica said her father-in-law is from eastern Europe. For a while, he lived with her family. He enjoyed a strong coffee for breakfast and a beer at New Year's. These habits alarmed Jessica's children. They asked if their grandfather was a bad person. Jessica took the opportunity to teach them that their grandfather had different standards and that her family is happiest when they choose not to drink coffee and beer.
• Amara said that sometimes it's hard to eat well at social gatherings. People often expect her to eat junk food, which just isn't her thing. But as she is non-judgmental of others and does things in the way she feels best about, people have adjusted and she usually feels accepted.

The Word of Wisdom doesn't just address things we shouldn't do, it also gives us guidance about things that are good for us. It is a principle with a promise. We are promised both temporal and spiritual blessings for obeying the Word of Wisdom. (D&C 89:18-21)

Melissa teaches at a residential treatment center for girls. She sees teenagers who have turned to drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms. Substance abuse rewires your brain. Those changes are something you must then learn to deal with the rest of your life. The Word of Wisdom ties social, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical wellness together.

Pearl is Melissa's visiting teaching companion. She is 97 years old. She has never tasted coffee or alcohol. She has been serving as a missionary in the family history center on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays since 1994! She loves her work. Bring a flash drive, and she'll show you how to get going with your family history. Surely Pearl's good choices with regard to the Word of Wisdom have helped her health and have helped keep her in a position where she can serve so well as a missionary.

How do you share the Word of Wisdom without seeming like you think you're better than everyone else?

• Amanda: Share facts (not necessarily gospel-related). Facts are non-judgmental. (Melissa added to this that some facts, like that smoking and alcohol are bad for pregnant ladies, are commonly accepted truths.)
• Terri: Be a loving, wonderful example of the spirit. Don't lecture, especially to teenagers. Lecturing distances you from people. Pray to be the very best example you can be.
• Pat's husband was the vice-president of the Rotary club in SW Africa. When the group wondered about where they could have their meetings, he offered his home as an option. Before he would let them accept his offer, he said part of the deal is that there wouldn't be coffee, tea, alcohol, or smoking at the meetings. They accepted his offer to meet at his home. Pat served snacks. At the end of the first meeting, the men commented that it was the best meeting they'd had in years!
• Amara said her son Aiden was playing cowboys, and he proposed that she serve him a "beer" at the "bar." She was surprised, but it was a great opportunity to talk about how it's not good to even pretend to drink beer.

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have a reputation as a peculiar people. We should strive to live up to this reputation as a good thing. Living the Word of Wisdom will make us happier, better people.

October Relief Society Night Activity

We had an amazing Relief Society night activity on Thursday, October 4. We started out by visiting with each other and munching on some veggies with three healthy and delicious dips made by members of our talented RS night committee: ranch dressing and two kinds of hummus. You can get the recipes here.

Gwen Whiting talked with us about having a positive outlook. She displayed a bunch of photos of smiling, beautiful people--and then told us, one by one, the challenges those people were facing in their lives. When we look at people, we don't always see the struggles they are having, yet we all have challenges. The trick is learning to face them with a positive attitude, trusting in the Atonement to make up for what we can't do ourselves. Gwen talked about her own life motto, which she adopted to help her cope with troubles in her own life: live, laugh, love. When trouble presents itself, you can't just shut down. You have to go on living. Always look for opportunities to laugh. Laughing helps you emotionally and physically. And don't forget love. Love and serve others; love yourself, and love the Savior. If you remember and follow these guidelines, you'll be able to get through anything. Gwen gave us each a copy of the poem, "Footprints."

Amara Doxey talked with us about nutrition. She is a wealth of knowledge for improving our health through how we eat. She also answered questions people had. (Amara counsels people on food and supplements as part of her employment at Good Earth foods. She is also a yoga instructor.) She encouraged all of us to eat 3-5 servings of vegetables every day. She recommends eating 80% raw foods, working up to that if it's hard at first. She said we should drink 1/2 to 1 ounce of water for every pound we weigh. She also recommended whole grains, unprocessed sugars (such as sucanat), and getting our omega-3's. We said we should avoid processed foods and chemicals like MSG. She said it can be expensive to eat this way, but there are ways to cut costs: buy things in bulk, grow some of your own food, and buy things online at Vitacost.com.  Amara has a blog where you can learn more about her philosophies and also get some great, healthy recipes.

Last, Dayne Petersen, Melinda's husband and a plastic surgeon, spoke about skin care. There are three levels of skin care: protect, rejuvenate, and restore. Our first focus is on protecting our skin. Rejuvenation is processes or treatments that restore a more youthful appearance, like microdermabrasion and Botox. Restoration is where something has gone wrong and needs to be fixed, like when you have skin cancer removed. Dayne gave us good pointers about how to take care of our faces. In the morning, we should focus on cleansing, moisturizing, and sun protection. At night, we should remember cleansing, moisturizing, and skin renewal. He recommended some products and ingredients that are good for keeping your face clean and healthy. Click here to see his slide show. The big takeaway from Dayne's remarks is that it's really important to protect your face from the sun because having skin cancer removed is not something anyone has on her bucket list.

Thanks to these wonderful people for preparing their presentations for us. And thanks to our hard-working Relief Society night committee members for organizing everything and preparing the treats. It's fun to get together once a month as Relief Society sisters.

Visiting Teaching & Home Teaching Matter!

Today we had a lesson together with the Priesthood, since it was a 5th Sunday. The focus was on home teaching and visiting teaching.

Dave Fuehrer
Home teaching and visiting teaching are callings we receive for life. Other callings come and go, but all adult members of the Church have the opportunity to serve as home and visiting teachers.

D&C 20 reminds Priesthood brethren that they are to watch over and strengthen and visit with family members. Home teaching is the program whereby the Priesthood brethren do so.

In the early days of the restored Church, a 17-year-old convert, who had been baptized only 6 months earlier, named William Cahoon was assigned to home teach the prophet Joseph Smith. He dutifully did his home teaching, asking the prophet questions such as whether he prayed with his family. The prophet Joseph responded that he was doing all the things asked of him. Then he promised William Cahoon that if he remained true and faithful as a home teacher, he would have great power to bless people's lives. This same promise is with each of us as we attend to our duties as home (and visiting) teachers.

Our church leaders can't visit every member of the ward. They need home and visiting teachers to visit and care for those over whom they are assigned stewardship. As a home or visiting teacher, you represent not only the bishop or Relief Society president but the Savior.

Teresa Muse
Teresa commented that she worried a little about bringing up visiting teaching again, since we've focused so much on it in the past months. However, she realized it is important to talk about it again, so we will realize how important it is for us to do our visiting teaching.

In last night's General Relief Society meeting, President Eyring quoted the prophet Joseph Smith's mother, Lucy Mack Smith, who spoke of sisters in Relief Society cherishing each other so that they might one day sit down together in heaven. President Eyring also spoke of his daughter, who went into labor with her third child 15 weeks early. Her visiting teaching companion showed up at her front door just as she was about to call an ambulance to take her to the hospital. Then the Relief Society in her ward took care of her family as she was busy driving to and from the hospital all the time to care for her premature infant. These are the types of things that happen in wards where visiting teachers are in tune with the needs of the sisters they visit.

Sister Carole Stevens, the 1st counselor in the General RS Presidency, spoke of participating in a trek with her ward youth. She learned on the trek that she wasn't physically prepared for some of the challenges of pushing her handcart. A young woman from the ward helped her get her handcart to the top of the hill. She wanted to help those who were still below, struggling. She committed then that she would never be in a position where she would not be able to help someone who needed her spiritually.

Teresa said there are sisters in our ward who are pulling spiritual handcarts. Many of them feel alone. You wouldn't guess who they are by just looking around. We can reach and help these sisters through visiting teaching.

Teresa said she knows of several sisters who recently had visits from their visiting teachers after somewhat long absences. Thank you, sisters, for caring about those you visit.

"Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." - Matthew 25:40

Rick Lybbert
Rick related a story about home teaching. He got a random text from a lady he works with, saying that he'd be a better manager at his job if he focused more on his home teaching. As strange and out-of-the-blue as it was, it was a message he needed to hear. He immediately called one of the sisters he home teaches, and he was able to help her with some troubles that had really been weighing heavily on her.

Daniel Miller
Daniel showed a short video with a couple clips of President Monson, one of Julie Beck, one of someone I couldn't immediately place (though he looked familiar), and one of President Benson. They all spoke of the importance of home and visiting teaching. [Please note the video is clips that Daniel put together himself. It's not an official Church production.]

There are three levels of home (and visiting) teaching:

• Good: See them on the street or at church or the grocery store and chit-chat. Call it a visit.
• Better; Call, make an appointment and go visit; show concern, share a message, close with a prayer. This is great home teaching!
• Best: All of the above, plus pray for the people you visit, be open to promptings of how you can help them, follow through on promptings. This level is a step above because it involves inspiration.

If we all do our home and visiting teaching, it's a huge help to our ward leaders. They are spread too thin to visit everyone in the ward personally. Instead of wondering who needs help and how to help, they will already know because the home teachers and visiting teachers will tell them. In many cases, the home and visiting teachers will be able to do all that is needed.

Remember: It is a blessing to be able to serve as a visiting teacher!

October Relief Society Night

Come Feed your Body & Soul at Relief Society
Thursday, October 4
6:30 p.m. in the Relief Society room

Child care provided

Emotional & Spiritual Health
Come learn how feeding your spirit can help you live a more joyful & abundant life.
Speaker: Gwen Whiting

Health & Nutrition
Learn the latest and greatest about food nutrition!
Speaker: Amara Doxey

Skin Health
Come learn what a plastic surgeon has to say about that part of your body you present to the world every day--your face.
Speaker: Dayne Petersen

Correction - Fast Sunday

Fast Sunday will be on September 30 as originally planned, not on October 14 as announced in last week's Relief Society Report. The Special Needs Mutual program will be presented on a Sunday during October.

New Tabs

Our Relief Society blog now has a tab that shows Relief Society birthdays and a tab with information about how you can help the victims of the recent flood. Check it out.

Stay on the Lord's Side of the Line

Lisa Schoonover taught today's lesson, #18 from the George Albert Smith lesson manual, "Stay on the Lord's Side of the Line."

George Albert Smith often repeated the counsel his grandfather used to give to his family: “There is a line of demarcation well defined between the Lord’s territory and the devil’s territory. If you will stay on the Lord’s side of the line you will be under his influence and will have no desire to do wrong; but if you cross to the devil’s side of that line one inch you are in the tempter’s power and if he is successful, you will not be able to think or even reason properly because you will have lost the Spirit of the Lord.”

Lisa said if you're wondering if something is right, you can ask yourself what you would do if the Lord were beside you.

Moroni 7:15-17 also gives us good insight about making righteous judgment.

How do you know if you're on the right side of the line?

We feel it. ~Lacey (Lisa shared a story about feeling really bad when she moved a neighbor's papers from the porch to their window wells.)
If you're always out on the ledge, pushing the limits, sooner or later you're going to fall off. ~Shelly
If you're influencing people to do good things, you're on the right side of the line. ~Amara

How can you influence people to stay on the Lord's side of the line?

Have courage to stand up for what's right. ~Julie
Teach children to stay off "ledges." ~Trena
When Adam & Eve were in the Garden of Eden, they were commanded to not even touch the forbidden fruit. We shouldn't get near or touch things that aren't right. ~Teresa
Teach children that there are consequences for their actions & that those consequences affect other people. ~Sue

Lisa commented that she has a friend from high school who frequently challenged her parents. Now she's an adult, and she's happy that she's finally free of all her parents' restrictive rules. However, she has lost her family's support, and she doesn't see how her choices affect her two boys. It's not really an enviable life that she has, after all.

Melinda commented that, for example, tank tops and bikinis aren't a real problem. It's more that avoiding wearing them is a form of protection from making more serious mistakes. In California, there was a winding road above the beach. So many teenagers died there because they were too close to the edge, going too fast. We need to stay away from the edges of whatever could get us into trouble.

Real happiness results from strict obedience to the commandments.

All safety, all righteousness, all happiness are on the Lord’s side of the line. If you are keeping the commandments of God by observing the Sabbath day, you are on the Lord’s side of the line. If you attend to your secret prayers and your family prayers, you are on the Lord’s side of the line. If you are grateful for food and express that to God, you are on the Lord’s side of the line. If you love your neighbor as yourself, you are on the Lord’s side of the line. If you are honest in your dealing with your fellow men, you are on the Lord’s side of the line. If you observe the Word of Wisdom, you are on the Lord’s side of the line. And so I might go on through the Ten Commandments and the other commandments that God has given for our guidance and say again, all that enriches our lives and makes us happy and prepares us for eternal joy is on the Lord’s side of the line. Finding fault with the things that God has given to us for our guidance is not on the Lord’s side of the line. [p. 192]

Lacey commented that we need to consider the higher law, the spirit of the law.

A person with the spirit of the Lord won't say that small sins are no big deal.

President Smith said regarding commandments "that which at one time seemed to bear the harsh name of law to me is now the loving and tender advice of an all-wise Heavenly Father." He said obeying the commandments doesn't mean we'll always "lead lives of ease and comfort," but the pay-off is happiness in this life and eternal life with our Heavenly Father.

How can you create a place where you feel and follow good influences?

Betsy commented that she used to get together with the other teachers and say a prayer for guidance on the first day of school. They felt doing so really helped them teach and create a good environment at the school.

Pat N. learned respect and good manners by following her father's example. He wasn't a member of our faith--or even a religious person--but he set a good example, and Pat turned out to be a wonderful person by following what he taught and demonstrated.

Stay on the right side of the line.

President Smith said, "I pray that we examine ourselves and find out which side of the line we are on; and if we are on the Lord’s side, stay there, because that means eternal happiness in the companionship of the best men and women that have lived upon the earth.

"If we have slipped in any way, if we have been careless; if we have listened to the tempter and gone across the line to partake of those things that the world thinks are so desirable and the Lord has said are not good for us, let us as quickly as possible get back on the other side, ask the Lord to forgive us our foolishness, and then with his help go on living the life that means eternal happiness." [p. 199]

Sisterhood of Love Video - September 6 RS Night

The Strengthening Power of Faith

Julie Wilkinson (our newest Relief Society teacher) taught today's lesson. It was #17 in the George Albert Smith manual, "The Strengthening Power of Faith."

Julie started out by telling us this lesson wasn't about "just" faith--it was on the strengthening power of faith. There are so many stories about faith in the scriptures and during modern times that many, many lessons could be taught on the subject. In fact, she said she could do four lessons on what's included in the manual. Today she decided to make the focus of the lesson what we can do and the difference we can make in the lives of others by exercising faith.

How can your improve your faith? Pray for it. Follow Alma 32: 21, 27-29 and experiment with faith, exercise just a particle of faith if that's all you have, or even just desire to have faith. Melanie commented that you have to be willing to do something with your faith, like Nephi did when he was commanded to build a ship to travel to the promised land.

What gets in the way of having faith?

• Fear (the opposite of faith) - Nancy
• Discouragement or disappointment - Annette
• Having your faith contingent on how you see things - Anissa
• Our own weaknesses, lack of believing in ourselves; doubt - Amara
• Trusting someone more than God - Pat told a story about her husband who had had surgery, and the surgeon told Pat he might not make it; Pat's daughter told her to drop the burden at Christ's feet and have faith to endure.

In his April 2012 General Conference address, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, "The formula of faith is to hold on, work on, see it through, and let the distress of earlier hours—real or imagined—fall away in the abundance of the final reward."

 President George Albert Smith was questioned whether current members of the Church would be willing to make the sacrifices of early pioneers. He answered that those with deep faith would make any sacrifice necessary. [See p. 186 of the manual.]

How do we arm our children and grandchildren with faith?

• Encourage and support them on missions. - Joanie
• Set a good example. -someone I couldn't see
• Help children and teenagers build faith. - Melinda
• Talk about faith. -Marilyn
• Encourage children to develop their own relationships with Heavenly Father. Let them find their own solutions to problems instead of jumping in to do everything for them. - Jessica
• Have family prayer and scripture study. Bring children into family concerns and show them how you deal with those concerns with faith. - Teresa (Julie provided an example of her 5-year-old granddaughter announcing that they were all praying for her dad to "do well on his histology test because it's harder than other classes.")
• Point out examples of faith you see in your own family, so they become part of children's consciousness. - Leslie
• Fast together for specific causes. - Betsy
• Encourage temple worthiness and attendance - Pat Nel shared an example of her 19-year-old granddaughter who is eager to go to the temple whenever she has challenges that she's dealing with because she knows she will find answers and guidance there. Sarah referred to a quote by Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone who promised unseen angels to watch over their loved ones when they do temple work.
• Teach children in nurture and admonition of the Lord (Enos 1:1). Because Jacob taught Enos that God was nurturing, loving, and patient and taught him the commandments and what Heavenly Father expected of him, Enos had the faith to pray for forgiveness and guidance. - Julie

The lesson shared a story about missionaries who "gave the Lord a chance" and were able to have London opened to the preaching of the gospel after World War I. [See pages 186-187 of the manual.] 

Sue commented that we can give the Lord a chance by being quiet and submissive to the Lord's will. Kathy said we need to remember to wait for the Lord's timetable. Nancy said there's a cycle of growth that comes from enduring trials with faith, then having the faith to face additional difficulties that come our way. 

Tavah bore her testimony that she knows Heavenly Father will not leave us, no matter how hard life gets. There are trials you can't endure on your own, but you can do it with faith. This went right along with a comment in the manual, "When we become confused, and find ourselves confronted by obstacles we, seemingly, cannot overcome, having faith in the Redeemer of the world, we can go to Him and know that our prayers will be answered for our good. [p. 186]

Leslie commented that sometimes the answer to prayer is that you have to carry a burden a little longer. Build trust in the Lord.

The Lord has a way of accomplishing things that we are unable to do, and never asks us to do anything that he does not make the way possible. ... If you have something that the Lord asks or expects you to do and you don't know just how to proceed, do your best. Move in the direction that you ought to go; trust the Lord, give him a chance, and he will never fail you. [p. 187]

Faith is a gift to the righteous. It is linked with our obeying the commandments.

Exercising faith is an excellent way to bless people's lives. Mosiah 8:18 says, "Thus God has provided a means that man, through faith, might work mighty miracles; therefore he becometh a great benefit to his fellow beings."

Julie concluded her lesson with her testimony and by urging each of us to "Let go of things that are holding you back, and go forward with faith, hope & confidence!"