Julie got our attention by announcing that she was going to start her lesson with a confession. Then she told us that she really doesn't like being cut off in traffic, especially on the freeway. She once tracked a guy down in a parking lot to give him a piece of her mind. What? Our sweet Julie? She says she's doing much better now. However, once when she was still sometimes less than patient with drivers, someone cut her off. She bit her tongue and didn't say a word. Then her son John chimed in from the back seat, "You idiot!" And she felt really bad for corrupting her son.
Julie said she has the world's kindest neighbors. When her husband hurt his back this year, Sally mowed the Wilkinsons' yard all summer. Roger cut down Russian olive trees and beautified their view of the lake. Janice weeded their yard. Stan removed the motor to winterize their water feature and put up shelves in their storage room. All these things were unasked-for favors.
Julie wants us to know that there is real POWER in kindness. The manual gave an example from President Smith's life when some road workers were doing a project in the heat of summer, and their language was pretty foul. Some neighbors asked them to please watch their words, even pointing out that the prophet lived nearby, to no avail. Then President Smith went out and spoke kindly with the workers and gave them some lemonade and invited them to take a short break in the shade on his lawn. Afterward, they went back to work carefully and peacefully.
Our church leaders are also an excellent example of kindness. This past week, they issued a dignified response to the presidential election.
Satan encourages us to criticize others. Why do you think it's so easy to be critical of people?
- We form judgments based on what we see and think. It's in our nature to think that we know how people should be. -Marilyn
- Sometimes you feel better getting a negative comment off your chest. Liz confessed she bought a bunch of cards that said, "Life, get one" and sent them anonymously to people who did something that bugged her.
- We erroneously think that people will change if we criticize them. -Terri
Mosiah 3:19 tells us that the natural man is an enemy to god, but it also tells us how to overcome our natural tendencies by yielding to the spirit. Terri commented that the consequences of yielding to the spirit are spiritual gifts--meekness, humility, patience, love, and the willingness to submit our wills to Heavenly Father's.
Julie shared personal experiences of receiving kindness from others during her three pregnancies. During her first pregnancy, she had an 18-inch blood clot in her leg and her life was in danger. During her stay in the hospital, Elder Maxwell came to the hospital and gave her a blessing and also put her name on the First Presidency's prayer roll. During her second pregnancy (with Jon), Sister Maxwell visited Julie when she was hospitalized during the month of December. During the middle of her third pregnancy, everything seemed to be going so well (for the first time) when suddenly and without explanation, her baby passed away. She was devastated, but was blessed, once again, by a visit from Sister Maxwell, who left her with a note that said, "Sweet Julie, I wept with you over your loss."
These experiences inspired Julie to reach out to others who were going through difficult times. She had an older sister in her ward who had never married and who became very ill and was hospitalized during December. Thinking of her lonely time in the hospital, Julie went to visit and brought the sister a gift of pink slippers. She sister was so touched. Later, Julie visited her in her home when she was under the care of hospice--and there were the pink slippers on her feet. They meant so much to her because they were a gift of caring and love. Julie's pointed out that there's power in kindness and also in following the good examples of others. She wouldn't have thought to visit the sister in the hospital during a busy December had it not been for Sister Maxwell's visit to her and knowing how much that had meant to her.
President Monson said that the level of kindness we show in our lives is indicative of the level of Heavenly Father's influence in our lives.
What are the blessings we receive by being kind?
- Comfort -Trena
- It's something we can control; we can take the high ground and keep ourselves unsullied, even in difficult circumstances. -Tara
- It gives us an opportunity to see people as the Savior sees them. It gives our lives a better perspective and a more spiritual focus. -Jolie
- It brings the spirit into our lives and helps us build Zion. Kindness will rule in the terrestrial realm of the Millenium. -Terri
- It gives us an opportunity to bless others and receive their thanks in return. -Pat shared a story about how she and her husband helped a homeless man in South Africa named Mr. Duke. He was hospitalized with an illness, perhaps related to his hard living. They gave him rides, did his laundry, and paid for him to have a train ride home. Later, he sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers to thank them.
- Love for others, improved relationships, increased self-esteem, improved ability to praise others and see them good in them. -Julie
How do we become kinder? Amanda said we need to yield to the spirit. Julie agree that we should pray for help & let the Holy Ghost be our guide, fast, attend the temple, search the scriptures (especially examples of the Savior's kindness & patience), and wait upon the Lord with patience until his nature takes over. We can't change our own natures. Only the Atonement can fully change us.
Julie shared another experience. She was a Relief Society president, and one of the sisters in her ward didn't agree with something she did and really raked Julie over the coals about it, several times. Julie's feelings were so hurt and she was so upset. She prayed for months to be able to forgive the lady--and then one day, she woke up and the pain was gone, and she realized that she loved that woman. She knew it was through the Atonement that she was able to feel that way.
Elder Hales said that denying ourselves of ungodly behavior (such as unkindness) is the beginning of changing into the kind people Heavenly Father wants us to be.
Ether 12:27 says that Heavenly Father gives us weakness so we will be humble. If we are humble and have faith, Heavenly Father will make our weaknesses into strengths. If you're a mean person but you want to change, you can take it to Heavenly Father and He'll help turn you into someone nice!
