LESSON based upon a conference talk from April Ensign... by Elder L Whitney Clayton: "MARRIAGE: WATCH AND LEARN".
Lesson was given by Emily Cook.
Elder Clayton told of the occasion when he was left alone with his young granddaughter who stood up on a table and proceeded to sing and dance for him, instructing his to "watch and learn". From the "mouths of babes" he indeed encourages us to "watch and learn" from others, especially when it comes to building strong, faithful marriages. Elder Clayton states: "The promises of the Lord are extended to all those who follow the pattern of life that builds happy, holy marriage relationships."
Marriage is a gift to us from God. The quality of our marriage is our gift to Him.
Elder Bednar has stated that "Ultimate happiness comes through the making and keeping of the marriage covenant."
Sister Cook suggested that when we attach great value to something (such as our fine china) we treat it differently...we are more careful with it. The word "honor" means to attach great value to something. Some benefits that we will experience from "honoring" our marriage covenants are: 1) exultation with our husbands in the Celestial kingdom; 2) a healthier and happier environment and disposition; and 3) improving the health and well-being of our children.
Sister Cook compared our marriages to the parable of the tree of life from the Book of Mormon:
In Alma 32: 37 - 43 we read: "And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up and bring forth fruit unto us. And now, behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up and bring forth fruit. But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hat no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out. Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ground is barren and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof. And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the tree of life. But, if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life. And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst."
Elder Clayton lists some of the qualities essential in a happy marriage:
1. Both husband and wife consider their marriage a "pearl beyond price", a treasure of infinite worth
2. Built upon faith in the Lord Jesus Christ
3. Repentance
4. Respect
5. Love
Elder Clayton says that he has learned that happy marriages rely on the gift of repentance. Spouses who regularly conduct honest self-examination and promptly take needed steps to repent and improve experience a healing balm in their marriages. Repentance helps restore and maintain harmony and peace.
The blessing of repentance gives more spiritual focus to every situation. Some benefits suggested by the Sisters than can come through repentance and seeking to build a strong marriage are:
1. Peace
2. Closeness with your spouse
3. Personal accountability to create the environment we want
4. More understanding (men and women are different ... :o)
5. Being more self-less; do not take things so personally
6. Dwelling on our original attraction and feelings
7. Focus on the intent, not on the literal action (is this what you MEANT,)
8. Communication...keep talking to get it right!
Be true to the principles and ordinances of the gospel and Heavenly Father will walk you through whatever challenges may come up for you. When we strive to develop Christ-like attributes, internal changes will occur.
Sister Cook closed with a statement from Elder Clayton:
Humility is the essence of repentance. Humility recognizes that no one can change someone else, but with faith, effort, and the help of God, we can undergo our own mighty change of heart. Experiencing the mighty change of heart causes us to treat others, especially our spouses, with meekness... Watch and Learn: repentance and humility build happy marriages!
